| LETTERS FROM LONDON |
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| REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL 26 May 2012 |
| Get Your Knickers in a Twist Sometimes you simply want to induce a coma; "Wake me up when it's over". Unfortunately, you'd be in an altered state until you died. How is it possible that people get dumber, dimmer, thicker while science and technology speed ahead? When the future rulers of government, finance, business, academia - the undergraduates of Cambridge - decide that choosing 'the rear of the year' is an activity that deserves appreciation and attention - be sad, be very sad, then be afraid, be very afraid. The entrants were found through ‘word of mouth’ (how fitting) at the university and the photos sent in through anonymous email accounts. Lace in the library, brief purple lace briefs, Leila loves 'nothing more than rubbing her bosoms on the smooth sand-blasted doors of Emmanuel College', she thinks ‘It’s given me a bit of a confidence boost. I don’t think it’s got anything to do with feminism really. I certainly wasn’t trying to make a point, nor do I think I’m being objectified by men." Oh dear. Oh dear. How did this pitiable 'I am nothing without validation from men' ever get into Cambridge? Now what would Oliver Sacks suggest? No Awakenings? The Undergraduate Who Mistook Her Bum for a Brain? The 'does my bum look pert in this?' photos were sent to an independent student website The Tab. The editor Joe Bates defended the contest as a ‘bit of fun’ and said the men’s rear of the year competition destroyed accusations of ‘anti-feminism’. OFGS. Comments posted online included: ‘High-definition pics from multiple angles would’ve provided a better comparison.’ If one of these idiots actually took five minutes out of their self-referring reality to put this contest into the larger context - surely there might be a hint of a eureka moment. But then again, I doubt it, but let me be of assistance here. As reported in the i newspaper: Nearly half of young women were sexually harassed in public on London trains and buses in 2011. A third of 1,047 questioned had been an object (truly an object) of unwanted, unsolicited sexual attention - which often included potential and literal violence. 5% had been groped...assuming on the bum. They have been shouted at for rebuffing advances, followed home, yanked by their hair, nearly shoved into cars containing a group of excited men. All a bit of fun naturally. Perhaps we can leave it with attention-grabbing Pippa - whose bum-of-the-year eluded me totally. Philosopher Alain de Botton who graduated from Cambridge has announced he is working on a project to make pornography better. AdB believes all the violent, virulent anti-female porn is a threat to society. Quite. He has plans to create family-viewing porn. Hmmmm. AdB: "Ideally, porn would excite our lust in contexts which also presented other, elevated sides of human nature – in which people were being witty, for instance, or showing kindness, or working hard or being clever – so that our sexual excitement could bleed into, and enhance our respect for these other elements of a good life." Kind porn? Witty porn? Hard working porn? Really? Bottoms up, de Botton. How Low Can You Go? Goodness, gracious me. PM CallMeDave hasn't stopped his frenzied tirades and insults for five minutes. Shadow chancellor Ed Balls was called the "muttering idiot". Balls was "staggered, completely taken aback" naturally after gleefully winding CMD up for years. The 'idiot' did slightly better than CMD at Oxford. Only slightly? "He has always been an expert at getting a laugh on other people if it made him look good, something I sense he acquired at Eton." Clearly maturity is one of his major assets. CallMeDave now refers to his old friend, previously revered spin doctor, Steve Hilton, as "the little Hungarian". Hiltons' parents were Hungarian immigrants. Not nice, Dave. Perhaps he was referring to Hilton's appetite. Now what will our esteemed PM say next week. With his complicity in Jeremy Hunt's sycophantic relationship with Murdoch and his bid for BSkyB - we might eventually see the back of him. No 'rear of the year' there. |