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| Letters From London |
| Humorous Views on London Culture, Royals, Gossip and Politics |
“Let go, Gordon! Let go!”
Going from dour hound dog to spiteful pit bull, Gordon continues to refuse to release his
maniacal grip on power. He has bitten down on the stick, foaming at the mouth, growling at any
and all threats. Gordon; it’s ‘speak softly and carry a big stick’. Typical. The man just can’t get
anything right.
“Bad dog! Bad dog! Tony was so well-behaved. The perfect poodle.”
When Gordon does speak and jaw-drop, we get platitudes: faith, morals, honesty, decency,
Presbyterianism, his father, fairness, ad nauseum. GB has now brought in Sir Alan Sugar via a
peerage. Dear me. Is that a reality check? “You’re fired!” Someone has to tell him.
I envision David ‘Mr Wisteria’ Cameron taking a secret holiday, most likely at one of the many
homes he owns which number he can’t recall, while leaving an appropriate cut out duplicate on
tape to repeat over and over and over again until you want to bludgeon it with the closest heavy
object: “What we need now is a by-election. What we need now is a by-election. What we need
now is a by-election.” Okay, Dave. That’s one thousand and eighty times in two minutes. The
single message you have has been received. Devoid of any strategy, ideas, insight, imagination,
reality Dave will inevitably be elected so that the rich can get richer and we can have our
services cut. Clever.
Is that our Dave dancing barefoot on his manicured acreage with a jaunty tiara covering his quiff
and a red Labour rose in his mouth? “We’re going to have a bi-election, we’re going to have a by-
election. Ha, ha, ha…hee, hee, hee…ho, ho, ho. I’m going to be king, I mean PM.”
Oh it’s all so Shakespearian, so Machiavellian, so soap opera. Both dismal solipsistic, self-
serving, power hungry Tory choices have dug in; Gordy with his stick and Dave with his toes and
they aren’t going anywhere. “You’re both fired!” If only….
Going from dour hound dog to spiteful pit bull, Gordon continues to refuse to release his
maniacal grip on power. He has bitten down on the stick, foaming at the mouth, growling at any
and all threats. Gordon; it’s ‘speak softly and carry a big stick’. Typical. The man just can’t get
anything right.
“Bad dog! Bad dog! Tony was so well-behaved. The perfect poodle.”
When Gordon does speak and jaw-drop, we get platitudes: faith, morals, honesty, decency,
Presbyterianism, his father, fairness, ad nauseum. GB has now brought in Sir Alan Sugar via a
peerage. Dear me. Is that a reality check? “You’re fired!” Someone has to tell him.
I envision David ‘Mr Wisteria’ Cameron taking a secret holiday, most likely at one of the many
homes he owns which number he can’t recall, while leaving an appropriate cut out duplicate on
tape to repeat over and over and over again until you want to bludgeon it with the closest heavy
object: “What we need now is a by-election. What we need now is a by-election. What we need
now is a by-election.” Okay, Dave. That’s one thousand and eighty times in two minutes. The
single message you have has been received. Devoid of any strategy, ideas, insight, imagination,
reality Dave will inevitably be elected so that the rich can get richer and we can have our
services cut. Clever.
Is that our Dave dancing barefoot on his manicured acreage with a jaunty tiara covering his quiff
and a red Labour rose in his mouth? “We’re going to have a bi-election, we’re going to have a by-
election. Ha, ha, ha…hee, hee, hee…ho, ho, ho. I’m going to be king, I mean PM.”
Oh it’s all so Shakespearian, so Machiavellian, so soap opera. Both dismal solipsistic, self-
serving, power hungry Tory choices have dug in; Gordy with his stick and Dave with his toes and
they aren’t going anywhere. “You’re both fired!” If only….
