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| Letters From London |
| Humorous Views on London Culture, Royals, Gossip and Politics |
You Can Call Me Fred - 20 June 2009
“I’m giving it my best shot.” But did Mad Murray know he was being amusing. I think not; humour
not being his strong point.
World number three and counting up, Scot Andy Murray is spinning his way to the top…without
the top spin. Personal interviews, the Fred Perry clothing range sponsorship deal, his newly
discovered love for the English…especially the hopeful English Wimbledon Crowds.
I suspect he is having loads of dirt being brought in surreptitiously at night. “You know. If you
thought Henman Hill was impressive, you know, think again. Murray Mountain will make it look
like an anthill. You know. I’ll be king of the mountain. Henman was such a loser.” But, but, you
know…“I’ve got an English girlfriend [daughter of a tennis couch who isn’t “that good” so AM
doesn’t enjoy playing with her…sweet], my trainers are both English [the shoes?], all the people I
surround myself with are English [the crowds?], my best friend is English…I get along great with
English people.” Oh really. Thus AM’s feeble attempt at winning over the ex-Henman hordes he
thinks he needs to win Wimbledon. Interestingly his English trainers have failed to teach him
English manners.
‘Our’ Andy may have bulked up, cut his unruly early-McEnroe frizz, wrapped himself in an English
flag, sung karaoke to Jerusalem, embraced all of England, bought English trainers, forgone deep
fried Mars bars, but he can’t pull his new Fred Perry tennis whites over our English eyes. He is
still rude, surly, arrogant, aggressive, obnoxious, nasty, horrible. If only his English team-Murray
would tape his rather large mouth closed to prevent his wince-making trademark lion-roar king-of-
the-jungle grimace. His explanation for his annoying antics: “I never want to become boring.” But
Andy, you always were and still are.
Wimbledon is about to get us all energized: can he? will he? Finally a Brit with a real chance at
the title. Fred Perry was the three-time Wimbledon champion in 1934, 1935 and 1936, world
number one for five years, eight-time Grand Slam winner and the last Englishman to win
Wimbledon, the French, US and Australian Open Men's Singles. A shame it’s Murray. The very
same Murray who shouted: “Anyone but England! Go Portugal!” at the 2006 World Cup. Did the
dear boy really think we would forget? Never. We are about to shout: “Go Federer! Go Djokovic!
Go James Ward! Go anyone but Murray!”
“You can call me ‘Fred’.” I don’t think so.
“I’m giving it my best shot.” But did Mad Murray know he was being amusing. I think not; humour
not being his strong point.
World number three and counting up, Scot Andy Murray is spinning his way to the top…without
the top spin. Personal interviews, the Fred Perry clothing range sponsorship deal, his newly
discovered love for the English…especially the hopeful English Wimbledon Crowds.
I suspect he is having loads of dirt being brought in surreptitiously at night. “You know. If you
thought Henman Hill was impressive, you know, think again. Murray Mountain will make it look
like an anthill. You know. I’ll be king of the mountain. Henman was such a loser.” But, but, you
know…“I’ve got an English girlfriend [daughter of a tennis couch who isn’t “that good” so AM
doesn’t enjoy playing with her…sweet], my trainers are both English [the shoes?], all the people I
surround myself with are English [the crowds?], my best friend is English…I get along great with
English people.” Oh really. Thus AM’s feeble attempt at winning over the ex-Henman hordes he
thinks he needs to win Wimbledon. Interestingly his English trainers have failed to teach him
English manners.
‘Our’ Andy may have bulked up, cut his unruly early-McEnroe frizz, wrapped himself in an English
flag, sung karaoke to Jerusalem, embraced all of England, bought English trainers, forgone deep
fried Mars bars, but he can’t pull his new Fred Perry tennis whites over our English eyes. He is
still rude, surly, arrogant, aggressive, obnoxious, nasty, horrible. If only his English team-Murray
would tape his rather large mouth closed to prevent his wince-making trademark lion-roar king-of-
the-jungle grimace. His explanation for his annoying antics: “I never want to become boring.” But
Andy, you always were and still are.
Wimbledon is about to get us all energized: can he? will he? Finally a Brit with a real chance at
the title. Fred Perry was the three-time Wimbledon champion in 1934, 1935 and 1936, world
number one for five years, eight-time Grand Slam winner and the last Englishman to win
Wimbledon, the French, US and Australian Open Men's Singles. A shame it’s Murray. The very
same Murray who shouted: “Anyone but England! Go Portugal!” at the 2006 World Cup. Did the
dear boy really think we would forget? Never. We are about to shout: “Go Federer! Go Djokovic!
Go James Ward! Go anyone but Murray!”
“You can call me ‘Fred’.” I don’t think so.
