| LETTERS FROM LONDON |
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| REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL 24 September 2011 |
| 1. It's So Wrong Naked ‘lesbians’ rolling around in jelly (colour?), dwarfs flying through the air (costumed?); the perfect recreational environment to ‘relax’ and ‘let off steam’ for testosterone-driven, boys-will-be-boys, idiot rugby players. After feeling the need to fondle, snog, seduce his ‘new best friend’, Mike Tindall, married 7 weeks ago to the Queen’s granddaughter Zara Philips, locked the blonde in a wrestling hold to smother her with moist kisses and then dragged her out of the club. The bouncer who photographed the incident (arrested as a result) didn’t follow to see where they went; dark alley, hotel room? But all just innocent fun surely. What a lovely guy. With all those millionaires/billionaires who spend their lives accruing as much money as possible and world leaders are collectively devoid of any ideas as to how to save the world from plunging into the abyss of a decade long depression. Perfect. What the world needs now is more men in suits out of touch with the reality we all live in. As presenter/journalist Jon Snow keeps asking those who know - who repeatedly ignore his repeated question: ‘Why aren’t the bankers in jail?’ And why aren’t they? But no worries. The latest, new and improved, largest in Europe, £1.45bn Australian owned Westfield shopping centre is setting all Olympic records in the Olympic Park. One million the first week. Oh dear. One could despair. Doors had to be shut for an hour, exit only entrances created, nine hour Mexican restaurant queuing, crushing bottlenecks, massive crowd control out of control. ‘Shop till you drop’ has taken on a whole new meaning; culture at its lowest point surely. The last series of Spooks. Oh no. Ten years, (only) six episodes, the introduction of an American-look-alike senior spook. Argh. Who took that decision? Lovely Lara Pulver, a Brit actress straight from a few years in the US, has brought back her enormous overly-coiffed tresses and perfect make- up. Is she Richard (aka Lucas) Armitage’s eye-candy replacement? No contest. He was brilliant even if terribly good looking. LP and her silly tresses are set to be the love interest in Sherlock next year. Oh no. So wrong on so many levels. But back to the basic problem: her hair. Surely there must be a minimum of 5 hair stylists hovering at all times. In her first scene, Lara’s locks have been twirled and curled and perfectly placed on her shoulders for maximum effect. But what is the desired effect? Why do women have ridiculous hair? Eludes me. Maybe Harry – or better – Ruth will reveal all before they are blown into small pieces. Please. REM breaks up after 31 years. RIP. |