Letter From London - The Deed is Done - Humorous Gossip from London

Diana: DOA? - 12 February

Dear Lulu,

PictureNewcastle. Okay, pretend…. Picture a seemingly unassuming building. Picture a warren of rooms. Picture two laptops. Picture two laptops missing from an unnamed room, from an unmarked building; one on one occasion, one on another. Picture no forced entry. What do we have here you might ask. In a country that loves a mystery/crime drama, it is irony run amuck.

The owner of this now elusive equipment is the very man investigating the death of Diana…The Diana…Lord Stevens, the former Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police. Police have stated that no information was lost or compromised. Quite. Just the day before, splashed across the front page of a tabloid: DIANA DEATH: SPIES FLASHED LASER BEAM AT CRASH DRIVER! Understandably your response must be: oh no, not again. However…there still are compelling discrepancies looming up like a Mount Everest of evidence casting a dark shadow on everyone from the Royals to MI6 - as there always are in British conspiracy theories. However…new claims, new evidence, new witnesses. Oh Miss Marple….

Lord Stevens, known for his honesty and integrity (thank god for small blessings) has hinted his inquiry is set to reach “a sensational conclusion.” My, my. That will certainly make spending £5 million of taxpayers’ money worth it.

According to the paper, this flash effect had been devised to assassinate evil incarnate Serbian leader, Milosevic (unfortunately without the desired result). The technology has been used by the SAS who are trained to take ‘them’ out when they are moving. Lord Stevens’ team involved in Operation Paget are “all but convinced” that Henri Paul’s blood samples were tampered with - as in switched with a certain suicide victtim who didn’t happen to have six times his annual salary (£120,000) in his personal bank account as did HP. Lord Steven’s first report is due out around June and then a second in October/November of this year. It surely could be a breath-holding moment or two.

Royal watcher, James Whittaker says he doesn’t particularly believe there was a conspiracy. However…he thinks Diana was not pregnant with Dodi’s child, but with that of her true love, Dr Hassan Khan, who was forced to end their relationship when pressured by his family, who had met with Diana several times. They didn’t find her suitable. It had been rumoured that she was attempting to make him jealous with Dodi. Whittaker admits that her body was immediately ‘frozen in formaldehyde’ so that proper pregnancy tests couldn’t be performed. Diana had apparently called Whittaker right before she died to say: “I have got something for you that will shock you!” and it was not her famous letter written ten months before her death - the one given to Paul Burrell for ‘safe-keeping’ - predicting that Charles was planning to kill her by causing a car accident. Shock, horror! Pure synchronicity?

Perhaps the news in June will shed light on the disappearance of that infamous white Fiat Uno (the one that clipped the death car moments before the crash), driven by photographer James Andanson who just happened to die in mysterious circumstances after having set himself on fire with an apparent bullet hole in his skull. Oops. Ah, let the unravelling begin. February, March, April, May….

TTFN

Maggie

Letters From London