Letter From London - The Deed is Done - Humorous Gossip from London

Foot in Mouth Disease- 22 February

Dear Lulu,

“We say it is absolutely vital to the position of the claimant, and anyone else in his position, that this sort of document cannot be published willy nilly by the press,” or so declares Hugh Tomlinson QC for Prince Charles. Oh that willy nilly legalise.

Charles is entitled to keep his personal documents confidential like “the humblest private citizen” his lawyers told the High Court. Cease and desist a moment. All this willy nilly-ing back and forth between the rights of royals and those of regular persons…make up your mind, HT, QC. You can’t have it both ways, surely. But then again; isn’t that what lawyers are all about?

Charlie’s lawyers are fighting the tabloid, The Mail on Sundays, for previously publishing his personal diaries that had been copied by a former member of his ever-increasing 100+ staff and sold to the to paper for a so far undisclosed amount. Considering the pathetic wages paid to those near and dear to the royals, 10 p would be an improvement.

Copies of Charlie’s rantings into the night have been given to 60 or 70 family members, friends and advisers over the last 30 years in envelopes marked ‘Private and Confidential’. The point and purpose remains a royal mystery. These included the now infamous journal entitled: The Handover of Hong Kong – or the Great Chinese Takeaway. Who knew Chas could be so droll? If we think back, his pathetically puerile “Camilla-Gate Tapes” were hardly amusing, as in - “We are not amused”.

Charles is following in royal tradition as the rightful heir-apparent, firmly established by his parent, Prince Philip, who is truly the King of the Malapropism. PP has a long and distinguished history of foot-in-mouth-dis-ease. Let’s try a few here, now. During his Jubilee Year visit to Australia he queried an Aboriginal man: “Do you still throw spears at each other?” Again while representing The Crown, PP demanded of a Kenyon woman bearing gifts: “You are a woman aren’t you?” And, to British students during a state visit to China: “If you stay here much longer, you’ll all be slitty-eyed.” Now we can be assured of where Charles gets his acute observations.

Not to be surpassed in an oedipal sort of way, in extracts referring to the 1997 Hong Kong handover, Charles described Chinese Officials as “appalling old waxworks”. Hmm. He does have a point there. He then goes into more detail after creating that smile-provoking visual. One ceremony was an “awful Soviet-style” performance and dismissed a speech by then president, Jiang Zemin as “propaganda”. What exactly did he expect? The tanned and the beautiful of the French Rivera? The wisdom of Mandela? He was in China.
Mr Tomlinson goes on to pontificate that the publication couldn’t be justified as “press freedom” as the right of free speech was governed by responsibilities. Oh. Is Hugh referring to Prince Charles acting like a Prince…Philip? Fingers crossed.

TTFN

Maggie

Letters From London