Dear Lulu,
Show us your wrists. Hmm. I don’t believe this was quite what Lance Armstrong had in mind when he initiated wristbands. The original choice was for everyone’s favourite charities – breast cancer pink, rainforest green, tsunami relief light blue, anti-bullying blue, Make Poverty History white, anti-racism black and white interlocked. Before you could remove the £1.99 sticker, charity concerns were replaced by the big ‘F’: fashion, as you would expect. Then the wristbands were piled on. The sweatshops were forced to produce 24/7. You could look to the left, look to the right on/in any tube, bus, queue, pub, restaurant and rarely gaze upon a naked wrist. Self-consciously you’d have to stretch your three-quarter-length jumper sleeve down past your fingers and grasp the edges until you were safely out of view of public scrutiny.
Then the inevitable even bigger ‘F’ survey was carried out on a thousand 15-19 year olds. Surprise! More than 60% used their wrists to indicate their sexual preference, presumably to avoid any drunken confusion and simplify the shagging odds. Not really a culturally-subtle time is it? Suddenly it’s: Tsunami where? Homeless who? “Quickly, out of my way. I see a black and red leaning on the bar.” Black for recently separated combines nicely with red for sexually active. But mind you, soon that wearer can replace the black with pink: straight, sexually available female (or red and blue for males). Oops. A dual purple and white; gay but attached. Purple plus turquoise can keep you guessing; gay but adding that all important element – mystery. There is still hope; pink and blue together advertise bisexuality. Yellow is rather explicit as it represent lost virginity. Mystery disappears without leaving a mark.
To be honest, I find the more obscure meanings more intriguing. But then, I’m not 15-19. Black obviously for Goth, silver for anti-social, yellow for chav, orange for ‘Let Me Live’ Freddie Mercury, black and red for Manchester United, green for Glastonbury 2005 (fittingly glow-in-the-dark), red for live bad and turquoise for live wrong, an appropriate mustardy-yellow for Pope John Paul, red + white + blue for the often whingey Tim Henman 2005, red and green for pro-hunt. Is that blood-on-grass? Quaint. I feel an allergy coming on. Is this wrist rash?
TTFN, Maggie
Past Letters
Foot in Mouth Disease - 22 February
And the Award Goes To... - 16 February
And the Winner is.... - 25 January
A Matter of Timing - 12 January
Routemaster No More - 28 December
Gimme, Gimme, Gimme - 25 November
Does My Hair Look Big In This? - 6 November